America the Strange

Loyal Readers,

As you surely know, I have been forced out of the sweet confines of Shanxi. Oh, how I miss my residential palace in Taiyuan! And no, it is not just my wives/concubines/whores that I miss. I tell you, once you are a warlord in charge of your very own province, it is hard to go back to “regular” life.

But life here is far from “regular.” First, the sky is the most perverse shade of blue here… I long to build a ring of coal burning plans, so that I might surround myself with the natural gray smoke that is Taiyuan air. And the food… oh how gross it is! Huge slabs of meat, unseasoned spare a touch of salt! How these Americans get so fat I have no idea. I have discovered a few “Chinese” restaurants, but the crap they serve is bizarre to say the least. I demanded a roujiamo, but all they would give me was a strange creation called “Orange Chicken.”

The booze here, however, is quite good. No fenjiu, mind you, but it does the trick. I have also discovered a creation called the “Fortune Cookie.” Upon my triumphant return to Shanxi, I shall attempt to use this as a means of anti-Communist propaganda.

“Confucius says, CCP will make you share your wife”

“Confucius says, Red Army buggers boys”

Cannot argue with Kongzi!

YXS

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