Liu Shaoqi–One Funny Mofo

So my old rival Liu Shaoqi just sent me this:

liu shaoqi message

Now, I admit this really pissed me off at first. He is well aware how upset I am, stranded as I am in the US while he and his unwashed “comrades” cavort in my onetime capital, Taiyuan. And to imply that it is I who will wear the green cap as he sleeps with my fifth wife? I almost lost it.

But then I calmed down and enjoyed a fine foot massage. Really, I cannot fault good ol’ Shaoqi. I know he has long been upset about what happened with me and his Guangmei a few years back. Did you know that she loved me and even had dreams of becoming wife #3? It is true. When I broke her heart, she turned to Communism. Not the first I must say–I have turned three women Communist! Sometimes I think I am my own worst enemy. One woman became a lesbian after we broke up, but I do not think I was the cause. She seriously had issues, not that I minded. Oh, Shanghai in 1929–I still miss you Ms. Smedley.

I digress. So go ahead Shaoqi, enjoy #5. But do yourself and Guangmei a favor, you might want to get your “xiao” Shaoqi looked after–I gave #5 a epic case of Mongolian VD back in ’37.

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