You know, I have had my share of problems with the Communists. Fundamentally, we disagree on a number of critical issues, and these are disagreements that will never be overcome. They want to communize my many wives, concubines, female friends, and various sex workers so that the peasant hordes will not have to engage in “alternative sexual survival strategies” (that is to say, two peasant dudes doing each other in the butt, then sharing their only lice-infested padded cotton jacket while they cuddle on an unheated kang). Sorry, not going to happen! And so they plot to overthrow me, and I root out their spies and agents, executing them in an increasingly inventive manner.
But if Mao Zedong and his fellow Soviet running dogs hate me so much, why the fuck are they imitating me? No, they have not given up their sleeping pills for fenjiu, I speak of what I saw during one of thier recent parades. Don’t ask me what they were celebrating… maybe Jiang Qing got the lead in the CCP’s new Gone with the Wind production? Anyway, take a look at this: