Off to Battle!

Dearest Internetianz:

I dare say I do not know what has come over me!  I have made the most epic decisions, and you will be the first to know about it.  This summer, I will take the battle to the Japs and the Commie Pinkos!  I am no longer content to lay around Taiyuan watching my peasant opera girls perform solos for/on me.  No my friends, it is time to end this invasion from within and without once and for all.

I leave at once for the battlefront.  Wish me luck, before too many months have passed I will regale you all with tales of victory.  I have no doubt that the campaign will come to a successful end and I will finally make our homeland safe for democracy or whatever other kind of government I decide to install.

To Victory!


8 Responses to Off to Battle!

  1. King Tubby says:

    Dear General

    Hanging by the neck for the first installment in the Shanxi Daily and wishing you luck. However, I suspect that you have expended all your precious bodily fluids and this summer offensive will come to nought.

  2. Lin Biao says:

    Brother Yan,
    You performance in 太行山上 was almost as sorry as Zhu De not boning that German chick.

  3. I fear that juicy pants will be scattered to the winds.

  4. Lt. Col. London, Allied Military Attache says:

    General Yan,

    We are most troubled by the recent reports from you, or more accurately the lack of such reports. We have sent to you literally thousands of tons of military equipment as you requested to support your proposed military attacks upon the Japanese. To this date we have recieved none of the reports you promised us detailing exactly what you used these supply shipments for. Indeed, the activities of your entire force and indeed absolutely anything in Shanxi have been grossly underreported. Which is to say not reported at all by you. And what reports we have recieved through reliable (and not so reliable) third party sources are… troubling.

    As a preconiditon for further aid, the Allies have demanded the following:

    1. The reports you have defaulted on published in full.

    2. An analysis of recent combat operations and loss assessments estimating what damage you have inflicted upon the Japanese and vice versa (and by “damage inflicted upon the Japanese” we do not mean the thousands upon thousands of “collaborators” you have claimed were members of the Jingwei puppet regime which were later identified by the CCP as being in fact their own men. I do not care about who started any particular firefight or who did what, but for future reference: if Mao or any of his men identify any of your claims as being not tied to the Japanese (OR VICE VERSA, MAO) it does not count).

    3. A full OOB detailing the current state of all forces under your command and plans to modernize them.

    4. Myself and my staff, who shall be accompanying you for the forseeable future.

    Please keep in mind that given our current military situation, we cannot afford to throw supplies such as this out to anybody who asks- after all, they might wind their way up into the arsenal of a glorified tinpot thug who has no intention of using them save to consolidate his own power at home (yes Emperor Selassie and Chairmen Chiang, that means you)- and if we do not have indications that they are being used well, we can always move the supplies elsewhere to where HQ believes they shall do more good.

    I hope this shall be as short and pleasant for all parties involved as possible.


    Lt. Col. James London,
    Allied Force HQ Mediterranean,
    Seconded to China-Burma-India Theater HQ

  5. James says:

    If you’re out there on the front fighting the japs, I expect that before you’re through with them, the Japanese language will be spoken only in Hell (or in the bedroom). Preferably in the bedroom though.

  6. vokoyo says:









  7. john says:

    dude, im from taiyuan, i just read all ur blog posts

    quite nostalgic and reminds me of my 2 teenage years spent in my hometown, ahh the great memories

    we leave an email we should talk we seem like 2 shanxi immigrants who may have a lot in common

  8. Anonymous says:

    hey guys this isn’t really yan xishan is it?

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