I trust you are all enjoying the end of the calendar year. My US advisors have informed me that yesterday was “Christmas,” yet another excuse for them to take off from work and indulge themselves in the holy trinity of Western sins: drinking, whoring, and feeling superior to the great Chinese race. Needless to say, only two of these sins are acceptable, and the third will no doubt result in a dejected look on their faces when thier grandchildren only speak Chinese (and with a perfect Shanxi accent to boot).
While I have humored my American guests by considering the importation of festivals such as Halloween and Thanksgiving, Christmas is a non-starter. We are at war with the Commies, the Japs, and I am considering opening a “cyber” front against the uptight Dutchman who dared to remove the link to my blog from my Wikipedia page. With so much conflict, how can I ask my people to waste their resources on gifting each other presents? That is a waste of resources that needs to be funneled to me for my purposes!
Once I get them shipped out to Taiyuan, all JPA barracks will have all regular doors replaced with ping pong doors. I imagine this will keep my soldiers in top fighting shape. Man, I cannot wait for the skills they will pick up in training applied in battle. Can you imagine one of my officers delivering a wicked back handed slap across the face of an unsuspecting Ding Ling? Oh, even better, how about Wang Guangmei? That would be pretty damn hot.