Oh Shit: The Bare Sticks Are Back!

Dear Internets:

Things are rough here in the Yan Xishan camp.  Two weeks back, after a night of heavy drinking, I was curled up on my kang, most thankful that the thick coal smoke that forms Taiyuan’s natural weather patterns was keeping the sun at bay.  Just at that moment, my #6 wife asked me to let her visit her natal family, and in my still inebriated state, I allowed her to depart.  If I was in my right mind, I never would have let her go.  Not only do I rely on her for daily massages, ear cleanings, and sexual services, but her hometown is precariously close to the damn Jin-Cha-Ji base area.  Before I even finished sobering up over my mid-day bowl of noodles and vinegar, the report came back–she had been communized!  Yes, she had disappeared into the Red Zone.  I imagine she must have at least four peasant husbands.  What an abomination!

No Mao Zedong, You Cannot Have the JPA

Hola Friends:

You know, I have had my share of problems with the Communists.  Fundamentally, we disagree on a number of critical issues, and these are disagreements that will never be overcome.  They want to communize my many wives, concubines, female friends, and various sex workers so that the peasant hordes will not have to engage in “alternative sexual survival strategies” (that is to say, two peasant dudes doing each other in the butt, then sharing their only lice-infested padded cotton jacket while they cuddle on an unheated kang).  Sorry, not going to happen!  And so they plot to overthrow me, and I root out their spies and agents, executing them in an increasingly inventive manner.

But if Mao Zedong and his fellow Soviet running dogs hate me so much, why the fuck are they imitating me?  No, they have not given up their sleeping pills for fenjiu, I speak of what I saw during one of thier recent parades.  Don’t ask me what they were celebrating… maybe Jiang Qing got the lead in the CCP’s new Gone with the Wind production?  Anyway, take a look at  this:

New Propaganda Posters for the Commies

Hola My Friends:

Just came across this on the “net” and thought I should share it with everyone.  I was going to print out a few thousand of them to spread around Shanxi to discredit the Commies, but who am I kidding?  Let me tell you, peasants just don’t understand.

That said, I think those fools over in Yan’an would be better off following a feline–at least they know a few basic facts about hygiene.

YXS

A Warlord Gives Thanks

Faithful Readers:

As the cold frost of the Shanxi winter rapidly advances, spirits here in Taiyuan are still high.  True, the JPA have exchanged their hot pants for a more insulated long pants uniform, but the fit is still tight.  Kudos to the designer of our military garb!  True, he is a notorious homosexual, but his rampant misogyny means he truly enjoys outfitting our Shanxi ladies in the most exploitative of outfits.  You think a feminist was behind the phenomenon of women’s clothing with words on the ass?  I think not.

My US military advisors are in a particularly fine mood, as they prepare to celebrate yet another American holiday.  Sometimes they baffle me, with all of their many celebrations, none of which (as far as I can fathom) involves sweeping the graves of their ancestors.  Earlier I have blogged about my encounters with Halloween and the most odd “four and twenty” holiday.  True to form, my advisors have been encouraging me to adopt Thanksgiving here in Shanxi, in order to (in their words) prove our “civilized” status.  Please, our coal mines are more than proof of our fine civilization?  Plus, do you not see the ancient Shang dynasty ding I use as my ashtray?  Check it out, and yes this is my actual ashtray:

As I have told my American “friends,” the Chinese race cannot and will not simply import this barbarian holiday.  I have, however, implemented a “Thanksgiving with Chinese Characteristics.”  What does this mean?  First of all, no turkey.  What a disgusting food, most foul.  We will however, feast in our own unique way.  Inspired by the American creation of the “turducken,” I have commissioned my palace chefs to create a super jiaozi.  According to my own design, it will work like this: First, take a cabbage and pork jiaozi, than put that inside of a lamb and carrot jiaozi, and then put that inside of an egg and tomato jiaozi.  Then, deep fry that sucker.  Oh yeah.  Far superior to turkey.  The JPA, however, will most likely insist on mala hot pot.  Sad but true: I have lost more soldiers to explosive diarrhea than to actual explosives.

We will also follow American tradition by giving thanks.  I will start:

I am thankful for holding down Shanxi, the most wonderful place on earth.

I am thankful for being able to fly under the radar.  While Mao Zedong and Jiang Jieshi fight it out, I will bide my time and most certainly emerge the victor of All-Under-Heaven.

I am thankful for the recent influx of sex workers into Taiyuan.  Prices are down, choices are up, and thanks to their inexperience, VD rates are at an all time low.  Thank you, rural unrest!

I am thankful that my Beerbot is still functioning.  If it breaks, I am pretty sure that no one here in Taiyuan will be able to fix my most precious servant.

Finally, I am thankful for booze.

YXS

Let’s Raise Some Awareness!

Hola Followers of the Great Me:

Yes, once again a long time has past since I had the opportunity to “blog”; my apologies if you were concerned that my Shanxi supercomputer had malfunctioned, leaving me with no way to update you on the world of Taiyuan, circa 1941. There in fact was nothing wrong with my supercomputer–certainly nothing a dip in a vat of our famous Shanxi vinegar could not fix. No, I have been unable to update this most awesome of all blogs due to recent events here in the Middle Kingdom. What a tragic few months we have had here, it is enough to bring a tear to my eye. Of course I am way too dehydrated to ever cry (little known bonus effect of daily fenjiu consumption), but you get the idea.

Where to start? The damn Commies continue to gain power in the rural hinterlands. I have become increasingly exasperated–how can Mao execute so many landlords while still finding time to spread VD among his many “cultural troupes”? True multi tasking. The Guomindang is still under the control of a brain-dead leader who cannot see the brilliance of what historians will one day call “The Shanxi Way.” And the Japs–don’t even get me started on those pervs.

To add a new level of tragedy, there has recently been a major earthquake down in the Sichuan basin. Word is that you could even feel it up here in Shanxi, although I felt nothing. And when I say I felt nothing I literally felt nothing–I was passed out in my private opium den, my Shanxi Beerbot opening bottles using my nostrils. A few buildings here in Taiyuan collapsed, but that is nothing new. My nephew wins most of the contract bids around town, and I don’t mind telling you, he is as incompetent as he is corrupt. I would not even let him build me a birdhouse, although schools for the poor are another thing altogether.

Now the details of what happened down in Sichuan are pretty hazy–you have to understand that here in 1941 there is almost no mass media, and the internets is pretty haphazard at best. But it seems that in the aftermath of the earthquake, all Chinese are coming together to help our Sichuan brothers and sisters. Of the various fund raising drives, only one, however, has truly caught my eye. I speak of the work of Xiao Yun (that is Little Cloud to you laowai), a young Sichuan lass who has decided to encourage philanthropy by stripping down for the camera. Xiao Yun, take it away:

Now I could post a few more of the photos, and I am sure those of you who stumbled onto this blog by searching for “Beijing teenage hookers” (you know who you are) would be pretty excited about that. But I think this image speaks volumes–nothing says “donate to charity” like a girl stretched out on a fake sheep skin rug.

Now, some have been quick to attack Xiao Yun, saying that she is out for fame. But I applaud her willingness to use her body for the greater good. With this in mind, I hereby order Xiao Yun conscripted into the JPA. If she wants to sacrifice her body for China, she can do it on the front lines with the rest of the Juicy Pants girls. Don’t worry Xiao Yun–there will be plenty of hot pot, so you will feel right at home.

YXS

The Struggle Spreads!

Loyalists:

Sometimes it is hard to tell what is going on from an odd photo, especially one that is randomly transmitted to me on the “internet.” Here is what was delivered to me this morning as I was recovering from yet another all-night fenjiu binge:

What is going on here? It is clearly a Commie style douzhenghui, made famous in various campaigns organized by my would-be-rival, Mao Zedong. For those of you not in the know, a douzhenghui is a “struggle meeting,” used to convince an upstanding landlord to hand over his water buffalo and wife to some debt ridden peasant.

But usually a douzhenghui takes place in some backwater, Buddha-forsaken village where the only idea of industry is a far-fetched dream of building a brick making “factory.” Clearly this photo is not of the nongcun, as these are no peasants–they are dressed in cloths that would make your average Taiyuan citizen scream out in envy. And note the electric lighting and the confused looking foreigner… this is not even China, our great motherland!

Yes, the struggle has spread to the West. And this has caused me to pause and ponder the ramifications of this odd turn of events. On one hand, I am a famed anti-Communist. Seeing the wife-stealing mass mobilization techniques of “Mao Zhu” gain traction world-wide makes me ill. But I am also a nationalist, and the thought of my proud Chinese brothers and sisters raising their angry fists in the imperialists’ metropole brings a smile to my face.

After reflection, I have decided I can only give a halfhearted acceptance to the actions of those above. Are they demanding rent reduction, or their own land? I cannot tell. But I can tell they are struggling a poor Chinese girl–and unless she is being told she must join the JPA, that is just not acceptable. Especially when the true struggle object, the hapless looking laowai, is right behind them!

YXS

Edit: One of my readers (thanks Jonas) has identified this photo as having something to do with a debate over Tibet. I am clueless as to what the debate might be, it has been some time since I was in the land of the yak. You can read about my visit with the Dalai Lama here and about my subsequent flight from Tibet here.

#10 Most Impressive Dynasty: the Sui

Loyal Fans of the Great Yan Xishan,

Over the next few weeks I will be giving a ten-part lecture for the JPA. Some of these fierce yet feminine warriors have requested that some of the information from the lectures be put online, so that they might get their study on while also downloading Hello Kitty decals to attach to their standard-issue fenjiu dispensers. I have agreed, in part so that I might educate you, the misinformed reader.

My goal in these lectures to help my rank-and-file better understand what Yan Xishan is all about. You see, I am not just here to have sex with my multi-ethnic entourage of working girls or to constantly remind Mao Zedong about all of his dead wives and missing children. No, Yan Xishan has an even loftier goal–to bring order and prosperity to China (and eventually the world, just like that punk Zhu Xi formulated). So I will take the JPA–and you lucky readers as well–through a tour of the Chinese past so that everyone will understand just what makes a great ruling house.

Enough foreplay, lets do the dirty.

#10 Most Impressive Dynasty: the Sui

It never ceases to amaze me that many otherwise educated Chinese have never heard of the Sui. Sure, most laowais do not know what the Sui was or what they were about, but that is to be expected: they are laowais and therefore stupid, if not in fact smelly. Perhaps the failure of knowledge that marks my countrymen stems from the fact that the Sui dynasty was rather short lived (581-618), as well as the fact that the dynasty was rather small. Check the map:

Shit, that is just embarrassing. Plus the founder of the Sui, Yang Jian (also known as Emperor Wen) was kind of a pussy. I know that you might not believe this, but he was monogamous! That meant he only had sex with one woman! And that woman was his wife! What is the point of being the Son of Heaven if you can only screw one woman?

But there were things about the Sui that can be emulated. You see, Yang Jian was not afraid to get his hands dirty and get involved in lives of his subjects. For an activist ruler such as myself, he makes a good model. He reformed the military. He also removed the dreaded “nine ranks” and made office holding non-hereditary. As you should know, I myself went from “rags to riches” (and bitches) so you know I love this. He also employed the “well-field system” to organize land holdings among the peasants. Normally I would not be big on anything promoted by “momma’s boy Mencius” but I find this system intriguing. I am using it with my poppy fields. Wait, did I say poppy? I meant sorghum. In any case, I am using a modified system. Instead of the nine shares for the peasants, one share for the ruler, we are switching it up so I get nine. I smoke way more sorghum then they do anyway.

But we as we learn from the Sui, we also learn from their mistakes. You see, the Sui went a bit too far with the whole activism thing under Emperor Wen’s son. First there was the Grand Canal–that must have seemed like a great idea until the peasant rebellions. Then there was the invasion of Korea… Damn those pesky 高丽膀子 !

So there is much to learn from the Sui. If there is one lesson I will hold close to the heart, it is not to just have one wife. Have many. And do not take the “Maoist” approach of having your wife killed off by the KMT so you can get a new one. Have many at one time! If we learn anything from Chinese history, I hope that we learn this.

YXS

Top Ten Chinese Thinkers: The Complete List

At the request of a few of my readers, here is my complete list of the top ten Chinese philosophers, all in one handy post. Enjoy…

#10

Loyal Readers,

After my recent comments on Kongzi, many of my fans wrote in asking for guidance. If Kongzi was unworthy of emulation, who might they turn to? In this light, I have decided to countdown the 10 greatest Chinese thinkers. These are the men whose minds helped shaped generations–not just in China but across the globe. And to be fair, I do respect Kongzi–I just don’t think he is the best model for the modern age. So he will probably turn up somewhere on this list. But first, we start with my #10 selection:

Sun Zhongshan, also known as Sun Yat-sen

Some might question my choice to put old Sun at the bottom of this list. Is he not, after all, the “Father of the Chinese Revolution”? In a word, no. Now, I joined Sun’s Tongmenghui way back in the day, back when we were all in Japan pounding sake and visiting Tokyo’s red light district (FYI your boy Sun could not hold his booze and had a few fetishes that even surprised the Japanese). So I am very much qualified to pass judgment on Sun Zhongshan, or Sonny as I called him.

You see, he had the most amazing ability to repeatedly fail–he was the original “cut and runner.” Every time he tried to overthrow those stinking Manchus, he would fail. Except he would never be there to face punishment, as he would be hiding out in HK. And when we finally brought down the Qing, where was he? Colorado, just where he was needed. What a joke. You know who the real Father of Chinese Revolution is? That’s right, Yan Xishan. But Stillwell, in a conversation with Fairbank, once drunkenly called me the “Stepchild of the Chinese Revolution” and I have yet to escape this stigma. Is it fair? No, but I live with it–we all have our crosses I guess.

So, final analysis of Sun Zhongshan….

Pro:

1. Married a woman young enough to be his daughter.

2. 3 Principles of the People (uninspired and never implemented, but hey it was something).

Con:

1. Best skills: Retreating and avoiding conflicts

2. Possibly married a Soviet Agent in Song Qingling

3. Created the conditions for decades of civil war

It is number 2 on the con list that really gets me. I mean, if you are going to deliver your nation to the Red Menace, at least do it via a Eastern European redhead named Natasha. That is the classy way to go about these things. So sorry Sonny, you barely make the list at #10.

#9

Times of strife and war create great minds. Just look at me–without the chaos of the downfall of the imperial system and the emergence of the Warlord Era, would I have reached my heights of brilliance?

Our number nine Chinese thinker lived during the Warring States era, another age marked by warfare and chaos.

Mozi, aka Mo Tzu

I see much to admire in Mozi, as in some ways he reminds me a lot of a young, less successful, less attractive Yan Xishan. Our similarities go far beyond our penchant for criticizing Confucius. Like me he was a man of action–he had a philosophy of action (youwei) that believed heaven helps those who helps themselves. As someone who helped himself to all of greater Shanxi, I could not agree more.

Plus he was all about military technology, creating all sorts of wonderful gadgets that could be used to kill people. I have mad respect for that. What is strange is that he preferred to side with weak states, helping them build up their defenses. As someone currently out of power, his affinity for the underdog is endearing. As someone who plans to be in power soon, it is troubling indeed.

To sum up:

Pro:

1. Military genius

2. Not afraid to call Kongzi a punk

Con:

1. Would probably attempt to stop my plans of military conquest.

2. Anti-family, promoted a concept of “universal love” (jian’ai). This was supposedly some kind of collective system enforced by strict hierarchy, but to me it sounds too much like the free love espoused by those damn Commies. Why does everyone want to take away my wives and distribute them to the peasant masses?

3. He used his military technology for defense only. He was–get this–a pacifist!

So while I respect the genius behind his technological innovations, Mozi was far too idealistic to serve as a true role model. Maybe if he cut down on whatever it was he was smoking, he would of done better, but as it is he clocks in at #9.

#8

As the Warring States came to a close, two kingdoms faced off over who would rule a unified China. Qi or Qin–which would it be? In one of these kingdoms, a wandering statesman helped seal the fate of China. This statesman is our #8 Chinese thinker.

Xunzi, aka Hsün Tzu

First up: Xunzi is a Confucian. One huge strike against him. But what makes Xunzi special is his this–he was one of the first to see mankind as it truly is: inherently evil. Just look at his portrait, you know he is thinking evil thoughts–probably involving Han Feizi’s third and sixth wives, some baijiu, and a tub of zhimayou. Xunzi thought people were born with a love for profit and sensual desires. I know he was correct, as this very much describes me. I mean, is there a better way to spend a weekend than drinking, whoring, and gambling? If you had to choose one Chinese philosopher to plan your bachelor party, it would be Xunzi. He is the kind of guy who, if things got out of hand, would help you bury the hooker. Compare this with Mencius, who has so many mommy issues he cannot even get a lap dance without bursting into tears.

So what is not to like? Well, Xunzi served at the court of Qi. And if you know your Chinese history (Spoiler Alert!) it was the state of Qin that unified China. So not only did Xunzi back a loser, in failing to stop Qinshi Huangdi he gave hope to countless other losers who get off on the idea of being the “Great Unifier.” I must say I find this damn annoying–you cannot imagine how many people are interfering with my goal of bringing China under Yan Xishan rule.

Pro:

1. Saw people for what they were–low down, nasty, perverted, egomaniacs.

2. Go-to-guy for bachelor parties

Con:

1. A follower, content to muddle along behind Confucius

2. In the geopolitical world of the Waring States, a loser

Xunzi, if you had only reversed the tide of history and helped create a unified Qi dynasty, you might be higher on the list, but as it stands be happy at #8. Or, be true to your nature and be angry and jealous, then work off that anger through sex and/or violence.

#7

YXS Fans,

Time to get back to business–the top ten Chinese thinkers list continues. Been getting a lot of feedback on the list, although not all of my readers have been contributing to the discussion. Many of you are loyal readers, but others stumble upon my site after Googling “Mongolian teenage hookers.” I encourage both groups to bring something to the table–you are all my soldiers, and a good warlord takes care of his men.

Speaking of which, taking care of his men is something that the #7 all-time Chinese thinker also does, although we go about it in different ways. I ensure my soldiers have plenty of booze and loot, while he gives his men plenty of reading material and 5% ownership of a communal wife. That is right, I am talking about this highly airbrushed guy:

“Chairman” Mao

Given the choice, you would think that any peasant with half of a brain would choose the loot and booze over an extended study session and a night with a communal wife every twenty days, but here is where Mao shows his genius: he offers his men the “wife lottery,” in that if the so-called “revolution” succeeds, there is a chance they could be sharing one of my many wives! Brilliant!

Throughout his career Mao has shown a capability for “outside the box” thinking. Take his idea of class warfare–Mao is a rich peasant! I could never have conjured the idea of turning on my own class, subjecting them to humiliating struggle and taking away their property. I guess that is why some have dubbed Mao “the dreamer.”

I am also a fan of Mao’s leadership style. Much like myself, he is not afraid of putting a subordinate in line or taking a few extra perks. Although what is up with the endless sleeping pills Mao? Ever even heard of fenjiu? And then there are the ladies. Here Mao cracks me up–he keeps on telling me that having nine wives is feudal, but what am I supposed to do? I guess I lack his ability to get my wives executed in a timely manner so I can get remarried. And don’t get me started on his new wife, Jiang Qing. The last I heard she was organizing an all-peasant stage production of Gone With the Wind. If he is smart he will accidentally “leave her behind” during my next mopping up campaign so that I can give her the patented “Shanxi Hay Chopper Chop.” If it was good enough for Liu Hulan, I am sure it is good enough for her.

The recap….

Pro:

1. Outside the box thinking in biting the hand that fed him

2. Genius in promoting the hope of sleeping with my wives

3. Ahead of his time in treating his VD by sleeping with more peasants

Con:

1. Good chance he is stealing his ideas from Chen Boda

2. Latest choice of wives is “problematic”

3. Gave VD to four of my six favorite Changsha sex workers

To be honest it is the last con that really burns me. Well, the burning has stopped, but you get the idea.

#6

Despite various threats received as a result of previous posts, the countdown continues. Sorry MZD, but I will not publish an apology just so your wife will let you move back into your cave.

Number Six on my list of Top Ten Chinese Thinkers will probably surprise some of my readers. Here he is, another product of the Warring States era:

Sunzi, aka Sun Tzu

That I include the great Sunzi on my list should not surprise anyone. Author of Sunzi Bingfa, which somehow got the hippie translation of Sunzi’s Art of War, Sunzi was one of the first to really get philosophical on the proper method of killing large numbers of peasants. As a ruthless warlord, I must admit that I could not have killed so many peasants without his sagacious wisdom. Take this pearl of genius:

“For them to perceive the advantage of defeating the enemy, they must also have their rewards.”

Hence my insistence that my soldiers be aware of the drunken looting that follows victory. But I mainly appreciate Sunzi for how he argues for not fighting unless the peasant army you want to destroy is totally helpless. This has allowed myself (and all of my peers) to avoid war unless it is to our obvious and immediate benefit. BTW I promise I will get around to fighting those Japanese invaders when the time is right.

Some of my readers, however, must be surprised that Sunzi is not higher on this list. I know–to rank this great peasant murderer only slightly ahead of a man who lives in a cave with a hack actress–it is somewhat of an insult. But I must find great fault with Sunzi for one tragic mistake. He never made it clear that his methods were only to be used in killing peasants. The result of this tragic mistake has been a flood of texts using his bingfa for the most bizarre ends. By means of example, I once found my personal servant reading The Art of Germ War: Using Sunzi’s Philosophy to Clean Toilets. What is next? Using peasant killing philosophy to succeed in business? Don’t make me laugh.

Top Ten Chinese Thinkers: #1

The long wait is over. I am pleased to announce, without any further ado, the number one Chinese philosopher. The man worthy of your love and adoration. He is a man that was born in turbulent times, but never shrank away from danger, instead engaging and conquering a war-torn and fragmented state. Here he is:

Yan Xishan

That’s right, me. Who made Shanxi into the model province? Me. Who has ruled over Shanxi for two decades, earning the moniker “the Model Governor”? Me, that’s who!

When I was a young lad, I had nothing. I remember wanting to buy some fenjiu but not having enough money… the thought of having two Mexican silver dollars to rub together was a distant dream. But look at me now. I run Shanxi. I am rich and surrounded by sycophants who fear my wrath. I execute peasants the way Mao “accidentally” gets his wives executed–which is to say I do it a lot. I have more wives than Jiang Jieshi, Feng Yuxiang, and Zhang Zuolin put together.

And you know, for a long time I was not the strongest warlord in North China. Not even close. But I played the key role in balancing various factions. Everyone needed me, and I played that card like a pro. I am damn crafty. Yuan Shikai once wanted to have me executed as a traitor. How did that work out Yuan? Oh yeah, you are dead, and I am alive, blogging about how you are a punk. Feng Yuxiang? Yeah he wanted to occupy Shanxi, but guess what? He needed my support against some other warlord, so he could not do jack shit about it.

So, my Chinese brothers and sisters, do not emulate Confucius. Do not praise Sun Yat-sen. Do not worship Laozi. Turn to me, Yan Xishan, the most perfect whoring, drinking, and peasant-executing warlord/philosopher.

YXS

Top Ten Chinese Thinkers #7: Mao Zedong

YXS Fans,

Time to get back to business–the top ten Chinese thinkers list continues. Been getting a lot of feedback on the list, although not all of my readers have been contributing to the discussion. Many of you are loyal readers, but others stumble upon my site after Googling “Mongolian teenage hookers.” I encourage both groups to bring something to the table–you are all my soldiers, and a good warlord takes care of his men.

Speaking of which, taking care of his men is something that the #7 all-time Chinese thinker also does, although we go about it in different ways. I ensure my soldiers have plenty of booze and loot, while he gives his men plenty of reading material and 5% ownership of a communal wife. That is right, I am talking about this highly airbrushed guy:

“Chairman” Mao

 

Given the choice, you would think that any peasant with half of a brain would choose the loot and booze over an extended study session and a night with a communal wife every twenty days, but here is where Mao shows his genius: he offers his men the “wife lottery,” in that if the so-called “revolution” succeeds, there is a chance they could be sharing one of my many wives! Brilliant!

Throughout his career Mao has shown a capability for “outside the box” thinking. Take his idea of class warfare–Mao is a rich peasant! I could never have conjured the idea of turning on my own class, subjecting them to humiliating struggle and taking away their property. I guess that is why some have dubbed Mao “the dreamer.”

I am also a fan of Mao’s leadership style. Much like myself, he is not afraid of putting a subordinate in line or taking a few extra perks. Although what is up with the endless sleeping pills Mao? Ever even heard of fenjiu? And then there are the ladies. Here Mao cracks me up–he keeps on telling me that having nine wives is feudal, but what am I supposed to do? I guess I lack his ability to get my wives executed in a timely manner so I can get remarried. And don’t get me started on his new wife, Jiang Qing. The last I heard she was organizing an all-peasant stage production of Gone With the Wind. If he is smart he will accidentally “leave her behind” during my next mopping up campaign so that I can give her the patented “Shanxi Hay Chopper Chop.” If it was good enough for Liu Hulan, I am sure it is good enough for her.

The recap….

Pro:

1. Outside the box thinking in biting the hand that fed him

2. Genius in promoting the hope of sleeping with my wives

3. Ahead of his time in treating his VD by sleeping with more peasants

Con:

1. Good chance he is stealing his ideas from Chen Boda

2. Latest choice of wives is “problematic”

3. Gave VD to four of my six favorite Changsha sex workers

To be honest it is the last con that really burns me. Well, the burning has stopped, but you get the idea.

YXS