Meet China’s Next President!

February 17, 2009

Hello Peoples of the Internet:

Just a quick thought here–how much fucking longer am I going to have to wait before Jiang Jieshi steps aside and allows me my proper moment as ruler of China?  Granted, I do have Shanxi, and I love it here.  You have never lived until you spend a summer here in Taiyuan, the weather is awesome.  But Shanxi is just the first step to my national leadership.  Hell, even Henry Luce knows it, and he is so far up Jiang Jieshi’s ass that by comparison, Zhou Enlai seems like he could give a fuck what “Chairman” Mao thinks of him.  Check out this recent cover of Time Magazine:

time-magazine-cover-for-me-yan-xishan

OK, maybe not that recent, it is from May, 1930, over ten years ago.  But look at that promise, I am to be the next president of China!  It says so in print, so it must be true.  BTW, how awesome do I look?  My moustache is so full of awesome, no wonder Zhang Ailing keeps sending me love poems.

So it is clear that I will be the next leader of the most kick-ass civilization ever known to mankind, that of the great Chinese race.  But when?  How much longer can we suffer through this farce of division between the GMD and the Pinko Menace?  For China’s sake, I hope not long.

YXS

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